The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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