i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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