Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
