Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
