So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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