what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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