he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
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I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
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Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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