I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
