Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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