Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
