I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
