Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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