We need to rekindle our bromance
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
