Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize