College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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