omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
