Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
