She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
