need another drink. this is the easiest way
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
