Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sorry my hands just texted you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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