we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
