I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm at about main and main street
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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