is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
