i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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