David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
