This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
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I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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