Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
