Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize