And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
