Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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