You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
