no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
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My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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