Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
