I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
