sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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