Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
