Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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