I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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