Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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