Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
