dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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