that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
