finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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