Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
