i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
