Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
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Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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