my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
