That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize