Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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