I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize