i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize