quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
