That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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