I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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