Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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