I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
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I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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