is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
