My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
