I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize