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We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
