I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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