hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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