she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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