I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
