We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
