I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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