party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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